7 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong

Can I just say it? Marriage is the absolute hardest thing I’ve done.  It’s harder than birthing 4 babies.  Harder than homeschooling.  Harder than running a business.  I don’t know how else to put it.  Now please, don’t get me wrong or start any rumors.  I thank God every day for He gave me an absolutely wonderful husband and we have a very very strong marriage.  I am blessed by my husband every single day all day long.  In my mind, my husband rises the moon and sets the sun.  There is none other like him.  But he is flawed just like I am and every other human being on earth is.  It’d be dishonest to not admit that sometimes our flaws clash with one another and there isn’t a little lightening and thunder.  But somehow, even when circumstances throw our marriage toward the ditch, we pull through and correct our course.

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How do we do that?  It is a funny thing because I felt led to write this post and share a little bit with you about how we keep our marriage on the right road, but as my fingers start to type I’ll admit that I’m not even 100% sure of what to say.  First of all, I’m no marriage expert.  My bachelor’s degree in psychology did not exactly prepare me to be a counselor or even and adviser   So please, take what I say with a grain of salt.  Keep what works for you and toss what doesn’t.

Onward then… How do we make our marriage work? 7 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong.

1.  We go to bed together, at the same time, every single night.  We snuggle and cuddle and chit chat about the day.  It’s our quiet alone time.  It is the one time we can usually be assured that we can speak without interruption.  It is a piece of the glue that holds us together.

2.  We have rules for arguing.  We do not tolerate mean-spirited arguing, name calling, or even much yelling.  Notice I said much yelling?  I’ll admit, I’m the first to break this rule.  I’m not perfect at this and neither is my husband, but we strive to be the best we can be.

3. We are always on the same page.  Whether it be parenting, finances, values, or expectations.  We do everything we can to stay aligned.  This is part of the hard part because we don’t always agree with each other and that is where number 4 comes in…

4. We submit to one another.  There are just times when whatever the issue is isn’t worth laying down and dying over.  Sometimes I need to submit to my husband as the head of our household, although you should know I will not do so if I do not believe he has heard me and considered my opinion thoroughly.  On the flip side, he too must submit to me as his wife when the right occasion arises.  For example, I am the expert authority on our homeschool and my business.  At times I  keep a closer eye on our finances than he is able to.  Final decisions on these often, though not always, rests with me.

5. We put the other above ourselves and OH MAN CAN THIS BE HARD!  I am the first to admit I tend toward laziness and I can even be a bit selfish.  But if my husband is in need, he comes above all else.

6. We pray for each other!  Seriously! Stop and think about this.  If you are honestly and earnestly in conversation with God asking the Almighty One in heaven to bless your spouse, and take care of him, and protect him and lead him in this world according to God’s will….how do you think this will make you feel about your husband?   I can’t hold a grudge or stay irritated after I’ve asked God to pour His love over my husband.  I end up being filled with my own love renewed for the man I married.

7.  And most importantly, but certainly related to number 6 above… we keep God at the center of our marriage.  My husband is only human, he will fail me.  Can I go so far as to say he HAS failed me in the past?  I will fail and have already failed him as well.  When you are filled with all that you need by Jesus himself those failures just don’t seem like such a big deal after a while.  Jesus was the most selfless servant to ever walk the earth.  He forgives me for all of my failures and all of my wrongs. What a perfect model to follow in my marriage.   I am called to forgive just as Jesus forgave me.

I can’t imagine my life without my husband.  On the day I said my ‘I Do’ on that alter I truthfully had no idea just how much work marriage would take.  I see it too in the starry-eyed gazes of my brides and grooms as I photograph their wedding days.  I pray for them that they learn what I have learned…. your husband is so worth the hard work it takes to keep your marriage strong.  Your husband deserves your best and your children deserve a mother and a father who work together.  Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do and it is also greatest thing you will ever do.

I thank God for the gift of my marriage every day.  I’d love to pray for you and your marriage.  Leave me a comment or send me an email.